Winning The Time Management Game: Be Assertive And Set Boundaries

The time management game is like water in a canteen. God gives you a full canteen each day. You are free to drink it, pour it out, or share it. If you constantly let others drink from your canteen, you are going to get mighty thirsty.

Because others have the ability to suck up all of your time (if you let them), assertiveness is one of the most effective time management tools at your disposal.

You are valuable!!! Right? Well, so is your time!!!.

So let’s learn how to use effective assertiveness techniques to increase the effectiveness of our time management system.

The art of assertiveness is an essential time management tool. In short, you have to learn to say “No” and not feel guilty about it. You can set the best goals, have an awesome to do list all tucked away neatly in a time management planner. None of that will do you a bit of good, if you allow others to sap your valuable time.

You have to protect your canteen from those that would take water out of your mouth, and the mouth of your family, and take it for themselves. If you fail to assert yourself, you and your family end up thirsty, while those that leach from you have more than their fair share.

For example: I was asked by a friend to prepare an earnest money contract. Well, I finally sat down to do it by working late one night at my office. I needed a pertinent piece of information, so I called my friend to get it. He stated that he did not have time to look for it because he was enjoying a movie with his family. That is when it hit me. I was sitting up at my office late at night depriving my family of my presence so that he could sit at home and enjoy a movie.

I told him to get the information and meet me at my office or he would have to hire an attorney to do the work for him.

When you learn to look at a time management system as a “zero sum game” you begin to realize the importance of setting proper boundaries. Literally, every minute you spend doing someone else’s work, you take a minute out of your pocket and give it to them.

So, let’s take a look at several time management tools we can use to win the time management game:

They cannot take your time unless you give it away. 

Look, there are those in this world that are masters of manipulation.  The tools of their trade are to beg, whine and guilt others into doing their bidding. 

You can spot these people in two ways.  First, they never seem to be available when you need their help.  Second, when you tell them you are overwhelmed they never volunteer to help or express concern with your circumstances. 

Avoid these people.  They are succubae. 

There is a proper time and place to assert your boundaries.  In the middle of a sales meeting is not one of them.  Pick a time and place where the other party will be less likely to be embarrassed or feel the need to save face. 

Use firm but non-confrontational language that they can understand and hear. 

But, be firm!!!

Normal people are more likely to understand your inability to assist them if you explain to them that you have other important things to do.  It is during these times that you will separate the wheat from the chaff. 

A person who is truly worthy of your time will express understanding, support and will perhaps they might even offer to help. 

If they whine, beg or try to use guilt tactics then you know that they are unworthy of your time. 

Save your time for someone who is worthy of your best efforts.

Over time, others will begin to see your time as a scarce, valuable commodity. 

Those that value your time will not abuse it.  Those that do not value your time will resent you and there is not a thing you can do about it. 

So do not try. 

Others will resist your efforts to tin the time management game. 

Remember, however, that it is a game. 

Those that resent you are using a tactic to remain in control of your time or to breach your boundaries.  Those are the people who should be the easiest to resist as because, in their resistance, they reveal their selfishness. 

If you waste your valuable time helping these people, you will have nothing to give to the person that really needs it.

One of the most effective ways to win the time management game is to set appropriate boundaries by being assertive. In doing so, you will quickly learn whether your friend in need is a friend indeed…..

or whether he is a leach.